- J Whyne (Dec 5th 2009)

Something to think about…

I think it was prompted by a talk I was preparing in which I referenced Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Need’ (Abraham Maslow)*

This theory of motivation, provides a mechanism for looking at human self/personal development and basically suggests that there are certain needs that all humans have, and that the higher ones are only met once the lower ones are.

I think my mind was particularly interested by the 4th level ‘Esteem Needs’, and what it might mean if those needs were unmet. Would this lead to your personal development being stunted, put on hold, arrested?

As I began by saying, I’m stewing on: Arrested Development…

*First published in 1943, and one of the most popular and often cited theories of human motivation.

I wanted to call a friend who had been admitted, and wish her happy birthday. I was stonewalled in my efforts as the person on the phone refused to tell me if she was still there, quoting rules and regulations, which didn’t seem to exist a few weeks back.

I ended up having to say, “well if she is still there could you please give her a message from and say Janice says Happy Birthday”

I walked along the road, angry and upset. My emotions fueled by anger, disappointment and frustration.

My friend is in a place you wouldn’t choose to be on your birthday, and there is nothing much I can do about, or to change that. But bar the bite of bureaucracy, the least I could have done is wish her happy birthday, maybe bringing her a little joy because I remembered.

I have no confidence that the person on the other end of the phone passed on my message. She was vehement in defending her position, and I had hardly got my name out before they put the phone down on me.

Rules and regulations – some may prefer the terms guidelines, form, fundamentals, foundations, structure… – have there place, and appropriately used provide the framework that most, if not all areas of life, need, in order to function well.

However, if we forget the human factor behind them, the fact that they exist to ’serve’ and protect us as people, they can become a stumbling block, sticking point, ‘noose round our neck’.

Bureaucracy Bites! – Rant over!

The actual line was: “Janice, you are a work in progress”. Even just thinking about it now, makes me stop pause, accompanied by a contented sigh. You see it was such a relief to have those words so lovingly, and without judgement or consternation said. An affirming tone accompanied them, which made me hope for change.

Why have these words come to mind now? Because I read a similar sentiment  in a book I’m currently reading about leadership.

I believe the words: “work in progress” have much to say to those of the creative persuasion – whether related to the person, or the creations of the person.

Be encouraged!

She offered no middle ground, I was either ‘too serious’ or ‘dull’, or is that just how I heard and received it?

Ummm is the fact that it irked me a sign of me smarting at the existence of some truth? Ummm…

The speaker commented on how in his line of work, it was his responsibility to present people with a different perspective, giving them hope that things can be different to what they are or are presenting themselves to be.

Writers have that same ability.

Whatever your genre of writing, a part of your business is perspectives. – Presenting yours, the prevailing culture, world view etc

When you think about it, this can be a very powerful tool to wield, a skill to master, and a responsibility to not take lightly.

Hopefully we all have at least one friend who we value and knows values us. The kind of friend that you know you can rely on.

I am blessed to have friends like these, and this week, I had reason to value them even more.

I was out of town when I heard my Dad had a mini-scare which led to an overnight stay courtesy of the NHS.

The following morning he was given the all clear, and some advice on avoiding a return visit.

Even knowing that things turned out ok, I wanted to be home with my family, especially my Mum.

It brought tears to my eyes, when a friend called and said: “I’ve just been speaking to your Mum”. She had also offered to cook food, take her shopping, basically be there.

A friend I was due to go away with for the weekend, pre-empted my thoughts about whether to cancel, by telling me to do whatever I felt in my heart, and then checking with the hotel what would happen if we decided not to go. – The hotel let us off the cancellation charge.

This stuff totally warmed my heart, and brought a sense of ease to my unease.

I got home 2 days letter – my Mum tried to tell me off for shortening my trip, then said she was glad I was here

LOL! this was a comment from my friend’s Mum as they got her set for leaving the country for a year or two. – Classic!

“I am the change I want to see” I mused on the words, and my first thoughts were, of the agreeing variety. I then went onto wonder what the connotations to this concept were… So I decided to do a google search on them, though I realise now I actually searched for: “I am the change I want to be”. – Maybe this was subconcious…

Anyway, only 3 results came up and they brought me to a video: Be The Change That You Want To See.

It interested me, so thought I’d share it with you. Let me know what you think of the idea of being the change you want to see or be.

Be The Change That You Want To See

She had been at her regular women’s group, and there had heard extracts from a book which tells the story of a New Zealand Christian couple who spent years doing missionary work* in China.

Before going to China ever entered their thoughts, they had felt that God had told them to bury the words ‘can’t’ and ‘won’t', and so they set about removing them from their vocabulary and mindset.

This choice became very significant, when sometime later they felt that God was asking them to go to China.

An understandable response would have been “we can’t” or “we won’t”, but as they had buried those words, their answer could only be yes. And so they went there, spent years there, had 6 children there, experienced many challenging things there – including interrogations – and finally returned to New Zealand thinking their time of missionary work was over. Only to find that God soon asked them to go back.

*Generally understood to mean acts of service influenced by and related a person’s faith, often in a country other than their country of origin. The decision to do such work is usually preceded by a sense of calling to that work from God.

I was struck by that concept of burying the words “can’t” and “won’t”. How liberating could that be for anyone with a desire, dream, or determined vision. How shaping and focusing could such a concept be for goal setting, ’stepping out’, and following through.

A useful tool for a writer-in-waiting. A good backdrop for the photographer. A blank canvas for the artist…

I think I’m going to ponder this some more, and invite you to do the same.