That’s my ‘take away’ from today.
I was totally up against it with two assignment deadlines. Mostly bad time management on my part. Though also, contributing factors of things beyond my control, and the crazy tension of working and studying at the same time.
It was at 7.30am (WIB) that I realised that I might not be able to pull it off. So decided to do a last minute ask for an extension of one day.
I acknowledged ‘my bad’, and prayed for mercy. My lecturer sent a quick reply. Saying that I could have a week’s extension without any penalties.
On reading his response, I became aware of just how much these assignments had been weighing on me. The sense of relief was immediate and immense.
I’m now making use of the extra time afforded me. Thankful for the breathing room to hopefully do a better job of both assignments.
And this is all because I asked.
One of the random musings I shared previously is,
Don’t say people’s ‘no’ for them.
The basic premise being, that as people we often approach an ‘ask’ by giving people the ability/reasons to say “no”. Example:
I wanted to ask if it would be possible to change shifts? I know it might be too much to ask, and if it is, that’s okay. I’d understand if it’s not possible, but just thought I’d try.
Do you see it? There’s at least 2 “no” responses that have been offered. The overall tone of the ask could also imply a lack of expectation of a positive response.
It is also possible to say people’s “no” for them without ever speaking to them. Those times when we are working up to the ‘ask’ in our mind, and we run all the scenarios of why: they wouldn’t say yes; probably couldn’t happen; wouldn’t work anyway etc.
Now there is a common sense and validity to weighing up the options. As well as being smart about what we ask.
It is though also worth considering if we are too often hampering ourselves. Either by saying or at least setting up the “No”. Even to the point where we sometimes don’t ask at all.
And to use the cliche, what’s the worse that can happen? As an advert on a West Midlands’ bus said,
You can either ask and feel foolish for 5 mins, or not ask and feel foolish for a lifetime.